Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I love you. Go after that dick
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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