That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
