we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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