yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
