I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
