Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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