you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
