when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Do vagina's smell?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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