who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
