so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
