At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
