I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
