How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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