I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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