yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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