Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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