No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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