Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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