it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
