just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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