I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
