Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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