i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
