remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I want to have your abortion
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
