So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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