i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
