Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
