My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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