cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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