ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
