my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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