If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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