i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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