the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
