wrigley field is MILF paradise
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
