Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
