I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
