it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
