I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
