what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Come share oat with me in your robe
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
