Porn is love you can see.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
