i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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