He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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