you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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