p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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