turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
