Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
This is the high leading the old right now
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
