So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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