Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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