It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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