We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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