Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Do vagina's smell?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
