These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
