This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
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