I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
