the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
