so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We need to get me chipped asap
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
